I’m a large fan of horror novels. Unfortunately I found something truly horrific in revising one of my own drafts…
One of my characters, perhaps thinking she said something funny, added a ‘lol’ at the end of her comment.
Oh, crap.
First of all, I take absolutely no responsibility for what comes out of a character’s mouth. I’m merely writing down what it was that they said or did in a certain situation. This however did not lessen my desire to suddenly write this character up on a tall mountain or building to see if she could fly (author’s note: I’m sure she can’t). I also thought of some situations where I could personally go ‘lol’ as the offending character met a grim and gruesome fate as befits one who uses emoticons… several of these, ahem, original ideas might make an appearance in future stories but alas not this one.
Looking at the red mark on my page I realized that this wasn’t some superfluous character intended to add color but a main supporting character that was instrumental in pushing my plot forward! After the sinking feeling in my gut told me that I could not in fact kill said character I gazed, depressed, at the ceiling. No zombies or acts of a cruel vengeful God for her apparently. Crap.
Finally, after an interminable period that will not be accurately related here, I decided to suck up my writer’s pride and edit the offending comment. I know exactly what you’re thinking; even a fictional character’s freedom of speech shall not be abridged… I agree completely, except in the case of an ‘lol.’ That’s not speech and therefore isn’t covered.
UPDATE: My main supporting character has just informed me of her desire to appeal my self-centered decision to ‘censor’ her words. Maybe I can find a large cliff for a dive after all.
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